midterm checkin
the first chapter is complete

the officer put away his erection
and took out his notebook
and decided not to charge anybody
there was an auditory sigh as helen,
pulled a drag on her smoke

helen's daughter held court
as if a thousand times

she was tired of this bullshit
drama queen mama
had hit the jackpot
and the reward was playing in silver

broken cars and lonely women
fall
splat
in the face of love
and
we dance
and dance
and dance
and dance

sitting atop
this silent mountain
the eagle my companion
i watch her soar

towards
the mysteries of the cosmos
dancing forth
from my soul

the call of spirit echoes
in the majesty of intuition
evolution, change

bound only by earthly body
pulsing at the core
as a baby boy demands milk
from the earth
impossible to ignore

my eagle sister, my divine love
commands the sky

drawing my eyes upward
far beyond the wild tales of the clouds

listening for stories not yet told
whispering, guiding
toward what lays beyond

deep in my heart

deep in the truth
of the goddess

high
on condor's wing
atop
a wistful crescent moon
cascading stars shoot
across the milky way
soaring beyond tomorrow
drops of yesterday
complete the mystic sky
in moments of desire
in
solitude
contradictions in
deep longings

longing to soar
longing to heal
to be seen
to be loved
to be set free

beginnings and endings
the gift of the great bird
commander, creator
destroyer
messenger to the gods
carry our prayers
teach us the ancient mysteries
of life and death
and then

come home
to rest

at the crossroads
with feet of lead
and heart of stone
i sit
silently willing
the choice to be made for me
skies shift and animals who know nothing
of human love go about the business of life
as my paralyzed heart finds a new rhythm
louder now that i am forced to hear
laughter of children that my brain doesn't compute
gentle december breeze only vapour on my skin
captured in a moment of eternity
from which i long release
what is this crazy love
what is this crazy life
the answer for me is always in the sky
the answer or more questions
i can never tell the difference

December 2009

i am standing in this river
bent over wash
replaying the rhythym
She sends
space emerges along the bank
and the conversations echo
on my heart
sinking into wild jasmine
and raising my fists
the contradiction
simmers
beside the soup

and on the subject of love
my heart expands at the sound
of her name
letting go letting go letting go

last night i dreamt about worms
not the fat slimy ones that you dig
in the earth
not the ones that
dads bait on hooks for fishing
laughing, beer in hand
hold the camera steady, dear
cast, johnny!!!


not the ones that gather in
shallow pools after a rain
a rain that drenches the earth with glorious
tears
their scent filling the air
returning, rerouting


no, last night i dreamt about
other worms

the kind that come out
of your ass
usually in the night
under the cover of flesh
the ones that infest, consume
occupy and irritate
the ones that itch and threaten and

devour

the ones that feed, nurture and grow
sucking
gently
so we think we like it


even when we don't want them to
the parasites of the earth
building, growing, changing
before our eyes
in spite of our eyes
fucking bastards
give me a stick
to poke out their eyes

do they have eyes


then i can return to peace

within us each
lies the birth of a flower
within us each
roots that connect
within us each
lives a connection
to soul
within us each
divine love pours through

hello dearest friend,
i know the dark space
from which your voice emerged
as you boarded the plane

i know you struggle
like a worm in a cocoon
i offer this as an insight that resonates for me
and may also resonate for you
in my own inquiry i have been asking questions about
oppressed and oppressor

in nature, in spirituality, in cosmology
it seems possible to achieve balance
harmony
in human nature
it seems we have not yet learned that
archetypal skill
reactionary,
the oppressed becomes oppressor
in intimate relation, in community,
between genders, ethnicities, nations,

it seems to me that
this is the threshold on which we stand
in humanity
your personal experiences are only a microcosm
of the whole
lovehate
peacewar
we are the final stand
for the reclamation or the disollution
of the binary nature
of humanity

in these moments when you think you don't
know who you are
i hope you will choose to shed the darkness
accept uncertainty
live with intention
and make a whole lot of fucking noise

the kids are in bed
and once again
the metamorphasis
the slow return to me
after the books
the stories
the laughter and bath time
between the shadows of what is said
and what lingers
shrugged shoulders
that carry a thousand words
hugs, tears and a few deliberate
punches among siblings
just to keep things straight
of course,
in the pecking order
beautiful blue eyes
finally glance inward
bring home their innocence
after the dishes are done
the food, the clothes, the remnants of the day
put away
piles of work pushed aside
to allow for something greater to come
here it is
slkdrjlaojvomoivncoasdinflasdjfldkjflksdjkljijiwanttohaveafuckingorgasmwithyousjdflaslfmodncvoaweinfoiwenfknclksdflksdfo

tonight
i dance on raindrops
delicate tears
and hungry earth

tonight
i tend the garden
within
with impeccable care
and wonderous awe

tonight
i listen
for the ancient knowing
carried through the vessel
of my being

tonight
i promise
my Self that i will
love her
and hold her tenderly

tonight
i will cast forward
all the seeds i carry
and bear witness to their birth

tonight
i dance on raindrops

for bill

kindred spirit on
an unknown path
wandering soul of
love
tonight your pain
is my pain
tonight your fear
is my fear
in every breath
i take
you are not alone
and the universe awaits
the goodness of your being
tomorrow

don't say the 's' word
safety
security
don't say them
cause they don't exist
fear in the heart
is hate, intolerance
injustice
in the mind and hand

walls create
imaginary silence
and turmoil within

reverse the truck
and put it in park

i'm waiting for you to answer
your soul to answer
wonder where you are
who you are
your earthly desires
i imagine your kiss
as an
invitation
to eternity
hearts called to our
universe
and the perfection
of
silence

naked i come to you
raw and ugly and beautiful
ready to commit to this process with you
erase the past
and connect to this moment
when we're asked to shed our skin
lizard skin
who belongs to noone
slipping off like butter
who can i be
who
am
i
deeply we dare to probe
ethereal web at our back
and we trust
and fall and dance and love
and fall and dance and love\and fall and dance and love\and fall and dance and love

My friend Bill Birch and I are trying something new here. We are collaborating...his wonderful photography and my poetry. Please let us know what you think

i looked for you
round every corner
sure you would come soon
but you didn`t
so i closed my eyes
...and in my soul
found you

dearest wonderer
awakened prince of dark
you belong to nobody
not even what breathes beneath your skin
no home but the Universe
no law but eternity
receive my humble kisses
a good night wish is all i have to offer
.. for now

dear sweet wanderer
gypsy souled and wide eyed
your belongings now
are trust and faith
your home is
hope
tinged with sorrow
for possibilities unimagined
into reality

yet shooting stars
bursting with ancient wisdom
tell another story
of manifested dreams
and deep pools of love
flowing in a river of tears
joy brushes the cheek
of pain
and angels dance
as you begin
coming home

the wounded sky cries my name

and i want to go to her

this earthly body

wandering the streets of

absurdity

this can't be real this can't be real

why must i live among

the very things i want to destroy

my insanity or theirs



when your body moves in me i understand

but the wounded sky is calling

indigo child borne of no one

star baby sipping the milky way

healing nectar

earthly nomad and gypsy soul

what is this cruel joke

i don't belong here

go and heal the world my dear
one day soon
we will find each other at the crossroads

you`re singing from the chickadee's mouth and into the tree
from the belly of the earth into the clouds
from your prayers to my wounds
from the reflections into what is yet to come
from here to there
from my shattered soul to a speck of hope sketched
on the skin of the lake

if i could imagine one action
only one
that would set things right
reverse climate change
end war
eradicate poverty
education for all
if there was one act
one single act
to set in motion
the chain of events to
accomplish all this
it would be

to go deep inside me

it's in the letting go
that i know
if my wings
are clipped
or ready
to soar
the moment of grace
when i hold on no more
and i wonder
who will see me
in the mirror
tonight

cast off this ratty coat
let go this smelly road
i'm trying too hard
enough chasing the feeling
that only exists
inside
anyway

my heart is eclipsed
by this new reckoning of dawn
and i cannot speak

tempered glass
shatters at my temple
cutting rivers from my eyes

at once i am the slaughtered lamb
and the orgasmic goddess
gasping for breath

emergency! emergency!

who will hear but a willow drenched in
the tears of my heart

stranded at this crossroads
left for dead by the herd
wind chafes my lily white cheeks
and your voice comes

stillness
is what's required now

this is the last poem i'll send you
so i need to do it right

this magical space
(or is it nospace)
between you and me
where i have allowed my
dreams to dance

has been a treasure
of life itself
for me
and i honour your
presence in my life

this poem is for dee dee

I am the wolf

you wrap your tiny finger around
a lock of my hair
your legs grip my waist
like a vice
your beautiful brown eyes sink
into my own
and your soul says
'i trust you'
i hold you close and i tell you

voiceless

'i am the wolf'

your new mama gives you
pretty things
the glasses perched atop your button nose
your old mama couldn't buy
you giggle and serve me tea
but only in the kitchen
dorothy
not on the carpet

but her name is dee dee
dee dee, i cry
'we're using her christian name now'
says the new mama
dee dee giggles
but
no glasses
or pretty dresses
can hide the shadows
of her heart
'where is junior, she asks'
'where is my brother?'

i hold her close as i say goodbye
she asks when i'll come again
rain falls from my face
soon, dee dee, soon

as i open my book to record a note
i am the wolf

i see dee dee's mama
alone at the street corner
shivering, shaking
awaiting the next wave of extacy
to wash her away
i sit with her and she cries
she cries the stories of a hundred years
she tell what happened at
the mush hole
and the tears
become a puddle at her feet
she cries for all her children
gone to her, forever
she cries for her sisters and aunties
and for the moon she doesn't know
anymore
and the puddle becomes a river
we hold each other and the river carries us
she cries for her father she never knew and for
the trees and skies and earth
that used to know her name
her tears flow like waterfalls
consuming the earth
in a great flood
she cries for the babies not yet born
and the medicines she does not have

i hold her tight and we are washed away into the
wildness of her aching soul
and still
and still
i am the wolf

you say
i'm your dearest friend
and so it's into that knowing
when
i cry
i wish you could hear

a pilgrim climbs
the waterfall
in search of
of
of what?
herself?
unsure
her gaze rises upward
and the dancing landscape
of the clouds
belies the shadow she bears
gypsy symbols of the
cosmos
of goodness and pain
she blinks and
the message is forever
changed
layers of light that
penetrate darkened souls
shift again in timeless trance
and the ascent of impossibility
begins
through the
mighty waterfall

inspired by paulo coelho's, "the pilgrimage"
and the mississippi river's soul.....

it all began with dreams
a passage into a great expanse of
heartland
i opened for a second
and you danced in

you know i'm in my living room
watching the lizard
he's one of my greatest teachers
one of them
you know i'm thinking about changing the world
not just a little shift here and there
not a pop!
or even a burst!
a burning schoolhouse won't do
i'm thinking about seriously shifting
the trajectory of humanity
manifesting peace on earth
some call it heaven on earth
i call it something between
laughter and orgasm
or maybe a laughing orgasm?
an orgasming laugh?
some call it our buddha nature
dharma
a state of being that
transcends all states of being
when i speak of gazelles
and puppets
dancing that lasts for days
joyous parties and a porch on every house
when i talk of dropping everything and
all of us joining hands
to walk to the apartheid walls
in gaza
and tearing them down
you call me naiive, silly, a little girl
well i am not
and i am
and anyways it doesn't really matter
because
i am a warrior
of my heart
i am a warrior
of my soul
and i am still breathing

sometimes
under a hot night sky
a half moon
half full of promise
half full of nothing
thick air
threatening wildly
with wicked light
sometimes
on a porch drenched
with the dreams of a
thousand years
sometimes
it is better
to say
nothing at all

it might have been the falling star
that landed on the tip of my nose
or gales of laughter echoing off
the gentle waves
it could have been the smiles of love
at every turn
or the laughs that never ended
or maybe it was the sweet crunch
of perfectly cooked corn
and the satisfaction of
a knowing chef
perhaps it was the deep friendship
nurtured through time and truth
or the sticky gooey smores
ghost gum
but whatever it was
i saw it in the eyes of a fox
interloper
calm, patient,
hungry eyes
who told me
to
keep being
who i am

gaia is my goddess
and i will tell you why

deep in the dark cold
underbelly
of our soul
our collective soul
she communes with black nothing
black nothing with the stark void of being
a constant presence
cold, choking black soil
up her nose
as worms and other slimy creatures
fight for entrance through
her every opening
she allows the intense feelings of death
to penetrate her like a lover
while giving birth simultaneously
to a beautiful bloom
of hope, freedom and love

this might actually be a poem i edit (ehab :)
because the idea and the imagery are profound and overwhelm
me in this moment. she is truly lifedeathlifedeathlife
and i am her

she is not a shaman
i know

i know

this truth blows through me like
a wild wind
chases fire
her ordeals are not complete
and she knows this too
she is pushing too hard
even a warrior must rest
must bend to love the wildflower
her body begs her for
yearns for
the sanctity of birth
ritual of motherhood
to kiss the divine feminine
with truly loving force
she is not a shaman
and you are not her mate

time to say goodbye
to what isn't
what never was
distortions in alice's
looking glass
time to kiss the mad hatter
lightly on his lips
and allow his madness
to transcend false realities
cloudy visions
ambitious musings
replaced by deep knowing
that truth and magic
like alchemy
will always bring us back
to the centre
of our being

if there is a darkened spot
high above me
rooting for its opening
then i welcome
the torrent
because the waves
always bring calm

for you....

do you know that you can look into the sky
under mottled clouds and dancing stars
and see the truth?
deep abiding knowing
rooted in ancient stories
through the very ground of our being
and do you know that our eyes
are the mirrors to the sky
the fissure to the great caverns of the soul
deep and murky and
rich with the pure essence of love
and do you also know that the first time
i looked into your eyes
i saw you
you
raw and naked and beautiful
you

i see you
and in the depth of that exquisite knowing
there is only love
and thats all i need to know

i don't know what to say
so i don't pick up the phone
instead i dance
under a full moon
a half moon
a naked moon
and i remember

i'm beginning to understand
what our minds are for
they do not own us
we own them
and we carry them softly
as they gather moments
in time
that help clear our path forward
and allow us to look back
from time to time
when we need to connect to
our hearts

do you ever get the feeling
that you are part of something
much bigger than you
much bigger than your small little life
do you ever get the urge to talk to the stars
as if they were your most intimate love
do you ever feel the earth's ryhthym
dance out from the soil
charge through your body
and surge through every pore
back out into the universe
do you look at a wildflower
and see yourself
brilliant and perfect and divine
do you ever hear a song and know
the very vibration
the very soul on every note
also resides in your heart
can you meet someone in the street
and with a look in the eye
know
KNOW
that this is a person
you will love now and forever
if you can then you know
you know already
that we are not who we think we are
we are so much more
and we are waiting
impatiently
as the earth bleeds
to be discovered
and if you can't
what are you waiting for?

these words are not mine, and I don't even know to whom to attribute them, but the simple, divine wisdom of this message compels me to share.

"Better a silly girl with a flower than a silly boy with a horse and a stick."

she doesn't know you
she doesn't know what you hide
she doesn't know you already broke
the sacred vow
she doesn't know you
your heart
your words
your song
she doesn't know you
she doesn't know you

the bright path of the glorious moon
before me
oh power-full goddess
of the sky
wise grandmother
please share your secrets
break open my heart
flow through my veins
pulsing from life
a gift
bestowed on me
by sister earth
bring forth your truth
blind me with your beauty
let your beams penetrate my earthly body
swim in the warm light of your being
let me drink from you
grandmother
so i may share your strength
with our sisters who suffer
our sisters whose hearts
are still shielded
from your grace
let me be the vessel for their love
for their desires
let me be hope
dance with me sweet grandmother
sing one more song of joy
and show us the path to love

so i went to see alice cooper
and profundity struck
he brings the unreal
unthinkable, unspeakable acts
drenches them in blood
and evil
vomit and bile
and throws them at our feet


cheering him on
we ask for more
as the truth emerges
these absurdities
these horrific twistings of the soul
are but an imagining
that we can stop
when we want to stop

i wanna be elected

starflower
glowing through the tears
that cascade down your lonely cheeks
brave enough to douse this world of hatred
once and for all
yet too tired to
pick up your sword
this night, this darkened night

dear goddess warrior
please guide me on your lonely path
in your grief
help me shine light
into the mush hole

i am sorry

it's time to take each others' hands
dance boldly with grandmother moon
walk softly on mother earth
cast long shadows with brother sun
to claim what is ours
together

i'm not your muse
so when the time comes
for you to put pen to paper
voice to mouth
steps to feet
don't expect me to be there
on the sidelines
cheering you on
you have to cheer for yourself
when you do that
i will be watching

i am beginning to see my life as something far greater
than this small self i have created
i want to go for the deepest truth
i want to allow a greater responsibility to come in
and live through me
i want to ask where i stand with the cosmos
i want to become an opening into what is possible
i want to live boldly and not ever be afraid
good night, dear dear friend
fellow fire tender
please don't stop what you're doing
and i promise, neither will i

i lifted your heart off the sky tonight
and tucked it deep into my own
i am not a collector
but i carry things
until they weigh me down

from the tranquil porch
comes the raw beauty
of nature
arriving when ready
disrupting flow
or is it flow
shifting skies bring
wild bolts of light
and gods wrestling
over ancient beefs
and i become a raindrop
quenching my mother
who asks for nothing less
and nothing more

a reminder of lewis carroll's brilliance
incase the mundane erased it from
your mind
some call it nonsense

i call it brilliance

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

like alice
i am yearning to be free
like alice
i will push you till you scream
and then i'll push some more
like alice
i'll always
fall in love with
madness
and like alice
i'll doubt and stew and
wonder
until i act
and then i'll know
i've lived from the
heart
like alice
i'll long for love
and place
like alice
i'll live boldly
with purpose and
passion
even when i feel neither
like alice
i'll meet every challenge
with love
and a smile
and determination
and like alice
i'll slay the
fucking jabberwocky

that insipid moment
that blight

it follows my iris
like a lie
who claims truth

yet clinging
to such banality
can only be met
with
scorn
and self loathing
of the very worst kind

invisible membrane
across the
delicate hold
isolating realities
dismanteling dreams
lovers become strangers
on these
faultlines
of the soul
to dance wildly
or to resist
is a question for
the moon
tonight

a word about marriage

the baggage of a thousand years
wrapped around a finger
will never
rival the feeling
of a tightly wound curl
around a finger
on a hot summer day
when there is nothing to do
but get lost in the clouds together

December 2009

so, i've been thinking
about changing my curtains
the ones in the back
the colour is off
but i'm puzzled

the bodycount grows
mothers wail
the alarm

you see, my walls are grey
well, light grey and dark
and my curtains are brown

the smell of blood
rises in the ashes
this is not holy blood
that flows between my legs

and i'm really not sure if brown
and grey
well, do they go together
like, is there a show i could watch
that would tell me
what
to
do

this is the
blood of death
of
horror
of
evil

so back to my curtains
which i will surely
close
soon
because i can
because they
keep out the light

from the bombs
that scorch and scar
kill and maim
the innocents
the children

speaking of children
i must wake mine now
all tucked in
happy and warm
safe and
loved

who will love the
terrorists
who will love
those
ripped into pieces
by them
what do i do
where do i go

i wrote this in december 2008 to an american friend...(a somewhat accidental american)...must have been for obama's innauguation. i think my message has been consistent and the unearthing of this poem is timely

tell them that Canada stands in solidarity
tell them that the revolution starts now
tell them that artists are taking over the streets
tell them that in London and across Ontario
we are organizing street parties
tell them that on Jan 20 we are shutting down
a major street in London
with music, love, peace, and freedom
tell them we are going out into the cold
to dance with reckless abandon
tell them we are dancing naked in the rain
tell them we want them to join us
tell them that houses across the nation
will be lit up with joy
and hope
tell them brothers and sisters stand firm
tell them that there must be no more bombs
tell them that we will not stop
until we live in the world we want
tell them we are with you
and tell obama that if he fucks this up
we are taking over

surge through life

find your spririt souls
dance wildly
and never doubt

i never wanted it to be you
a thousand lies couldn't
change the pounding surf
in my heart
these rhythms don't lie
they don't

oh come on you fuckers
i know you're out there
reading, waiting
waiting













what the fuck are you waiting for
why are my shoes off
while you still wear white sox
with sandals
you know what you need to do
you know who you are
so do it
be
you
the goddesses will make love
with you forever
if you do

so
who is ready
to change the world?

sign up here

tonight, on this vulnerable night,
i defer to bono and U2

Something is about to give
I can feel it coming
I think I know what it means
I'm not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to live
And when I'm flat on my back
I hope to feel like I did

'cause hardness, it sets in
You need some protection
The thinner the skin

I want you to know
That you don't need me anymore
I want you to know
You don't need anyone, or anything at all

Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to say what it is will break you
I don't know, which way the wind will blow
Who's to know when the time has come around
Don't want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

In summer I can taste the salt in the sea
There's a kite blowing out of control on a breeze
I wonder what's gonna happen to you
You wonder what has happened to me

I'm a man, I'm not a child
A man who sees
The shadow behind your eyes

Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to say what it is will break you
I don't know, where the wind will blow
Who's to know when the time has come around
I don't want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

Did I waste it?
Not so much I couldn't taste it
Life should be fragrant
Roof top to the basement
The last of the rocks stars
When hip-hop drove the big cars
In the time when new media
Was the big idea
What was the big idea


Music: U2
Lyrics: Bono and The Edge
Strings: The Edge
Backing vocals: The Edge, Brian Eno, Daniel Lanois
Produced by: Daniel Lanois and Brian Eno
Engineered by: Richard Rainey
Mixed by: Richard Rainey

if
you can't keep up,

reach forward for a sister or brother's hand

make them

look back

ask them to help you

and if you're looking forward,

remember

to look back over your shoulder

every now and again

pick up who ever you can

we all have to go together

suppression

is a disease

of the soul

and it will eat at you

till your guts vomit

black bile

onto your dinner plate

when goddesses come together
shit happens
when goddesses come together
the dancing begins
the earth is crying for us, sisters
i know you hear it
she wants our bare feet
and rhythym
our passion and desires
she wants to hear our stories
our songs
she is asking for our tears to
wet her parched skin
she is ready to bloom
she needs the goddess collective
to bring light
to the darkness
are you with us?
we are many
they are few

t's time
do you feel it?
you are asleep if you don't
people are starting to imagine
something else
people are starting to manifest
something else
but we have a lot of work to do
many are still sleeping
and women have an important role
we are the ones who know another way
we already carry that ancient wisdom
in our bones
in our souls
all of us have it
but we need to help each other find it
we already know the way
we need to rise up together
help our sisters stand
take her hand if you need to
too many of our babies have already died
this is not war
this is a revolution of the heart
this is the revolution of love

you can Always choose how you feel

status update

wendy has come to terms with
the fact
that she might have to go to jail
for the things she believes

http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=52456dd558&view=audio&msgs=1299367fb128bd5c&attid=0.1&zw

a radio interview i did for our university station

dear canada,
i believe i need to give informed consent
before i bend over and take
anything up my ass

it's so simple

SO simple
if we want to
change the world,

all we have to do
is
change the world
JUST
CHANGE
IT

why do I keep
giving away my
power?

why do you

oh canada
our home and police state land
true secret laws
with all thy guns command

with your martial law
we see thee rise
the fascist strong and crazy

from far and wide
oh canada
what has happened to thee

god can't help us now
it's harper or it's WE
oh canada
where's peace and liberty
oh canada
where is the voice of the free

wake up sisters
and brothers
before the
sweet little birdy
chirping in the cherry tree
you take so much pride in
pecks out your eyes
and shits
all over your face

let's distinguish here
between violence and vandalism
so we are clear in the days to come

violence is when a baby is shaken
to death
violence is when a man rips a woman's clothes off
and thrusts his penis inside her
against her will
violence is israeli soldiers parachuting down
onto a boat
firing live ammunition
with the intent to kill
violence is sticking a knife in someone's heart
violence is starving a nation by raping its resources
violence is coming up against peace activists
with clubs and guns
tear gas and ear destroying noise
violence is silencing voices
violence is rooted ALWAYS
in fear and ignorance

vandalism is the destruction of property
inanimate objects
that don't think or feel or see
in a desparate attempt to wake the sleeping masses
from their apathy induced slumber
it is a challenge to the notion of private ownership
and it pushes us all closer to our edge

where is your edge?
where is our edge?

the moth travels toward the light
unaware of his pending destruction
not knowing that the light
will become his darkness
yet there is no escape
he cannot say no
the pull is too great
so he lets his soul
carry
his fate

truth
speak yours
and find freedom
it's the only way

approach with clarity
see, act, be
singularity is
is

i've been trying to figure out
what it is
i miss
the most
and now i

know


i miss sending
you
my poems

please don't say a lie
if you speak to me
speak only from your heart
for that is the only language
in my soul's ear
tonight

don't stop because you're scared
don't stop because you're scared
we are here to catch your fall
trust
trust
faith in you

these tears i won't cry for you
this dance i won't
truth always wins

behind the bars
over the wires
flak jackets and
instruments of death
walls of fear
come dance with me
on the other side
no walls
no borders
no hate
no fear
have courage to
open your hearts
to the truth
beyond your walls
of fear

before the debate about postering and freedom
gets bogged down in pettiness
let's remember the most important part
of the argument
the truth is that the police admitted on film
that the reason they arrested darius is because they wanted to put 'conditions' on him. he has no criminal record, is a canadian born citizen who has some vague middle eastern heritage and speaks his mind a lot...and the g8 is just around the corner.
i broke the law tonight
i put up a poster in an un-approved place
right in front of a police officer
he said, 'hi' and asked me how i was doing
who is trying to put a lid on the revolution?
which begs the question.....
can you EVER put a lid on the revolution???

dear libby,
thank you for your voice
from the child whose body was burned
with cascades of white phosphorous
from the mother who wails
for her son
and her husband
for the child
who can no longer attend school
because it was bombed by the Israelis
from the mavi marmara
and the brave freedom fighters
on board
and in body bags
from the rest of us behind our computers
on the phone and
pen in hand
WE ARE WITH YOU LIBBY DAVIS
WE ARE WITH YOU
WE ARE WITH YOU
WE ARE WITH YOU

what i hate about this blog is that it's too one sided. i like to think of my poetry as a conversation. not always, but sometimes requiring a response....i want to know what you think. i have no idea what i'm talking about so i need you to set me straight...

the danger of truth

is that the mirror

of humanity
...
will

greet my image

each morning

as i brush my teeth

asking me

for me

the follower
breaking away from his teacher
this is a mystical
surrender
and should be
eaten in
silence

we are but a tweet

a twitter
a chirp
a fleepfleep
twuuuurt
a new language
to learn

you make me want to throw up
you are my worst nightmare
how can i be at peace with you
when you are not at
peace
with yourself

lets break down
ignore
reject
the structures
that
...
are not love

in their absence
we will know love

each time you kiss me
the soul of my foot
itches

there were too many trains
and too much rain
and besides,
we DID lie under the stars
each time we spoke our heart

i feel you pushing me away

since you pulled us together

since you

since we

have been pulling us together

from the beginning

and i wonder why

i am digging for worms

you know how i hate them

jake brings them by the handful

squirming disgusting gifts of love

is it the head or the ass

i am repulsed

yet the excavating continues

and treads the mirky depths

because down is the only place

to hold me now

my darkness leads to truth

as always

as

always

and i wonder what is yours

what do we do

where do we go

april 2009

after the rain

after the rain
the sweet scent of woodruff
returns grace
to the earth
after the rain
the last grains of sand
are washed from my feet
erasing the path
that brought us to this place
of mystic wonder
after the rain
i feel my roots
churn the earth
yearning for source
after the rain
with arms stretched open
the universe dances
with my soul

the river

i am the river
caressing pebbles
of sorrow and joy
as i pass
lapping against their beauty
caressing the mystery
of riverbanks
unexplored
thank you
perhaps i shall return
perhaps

when the hard rain
on gaia
dampens his lover's skin
erasing her hunger
the wise woman
carries her vessel
this great balancing act
full to the brim
and splashing abundance
home to the feet of her castle
where love awaits

i want to lie down with you
my beautiful queen
caress your skin
chiseled in ancient storms
propelled through constant flow
i want to lie down with you
sweet earth
make love with you tenderly
my tongue designing heaven
across your lips
i want to penetrate your cold facade
melt into your fiery core
close my eyes
dearest gaia
whisper stories of suffering
let me drink your tears
mother earth
for my healing and yours
are bound in this
cosmic dance
of consciousness

this one's not written yet but here's the title

i want to talk before we both end up in
shit? bed? detroit? jail?

the moon spoke to me tonight
she joined me on the path
to nowhere
you know the one i've been
travelling
alone
she wondered what colour the sky might be
if we had no names for anything
she asked me what my name would be
and i had no answer
her lips were wet like salty earth
moonbeams on my skin
penetrating, dissipating
she has the patience of a queen
and the temper of a wolf
her light blinds me to myself
yet i look and look again
searching in the creamy folds
of her skin
for me

declaration of self

i will accept nothing less than extraordinary
in this crazy life
jump on my train
if you can run to the edge
walk through fire with me
if you can stand the pain
swim in the rain under a stormy night
with me
if you like to get wet
if you can feel the lonliness in an empty room
if your heart aches when you see suffering
and your tears flow freely
if you wake up each day
and say WHAT AM I DOING
if you love life yet don't fear the
peace of death

if the simple beauty of the changing sky
stops you in your tracks
if a child's laughter touches your spirit
and makes your heart glow
if you don't mind telling the man
to go fuck himself....twice
if you think peace is possible
if you will stand up for what you believe
if you imagine another world...

don't ask me to stop
or even slow down
i'll walk away
don't hesitate or question
if you can flow
if you can be the river of life
if your art is bursting out of your heart
if you think you will die if things don't change
if your passion for love
exceeds every other passion you have
then find me
in the wildflowers
and let the madness
melt us into eternity

One more from Cairo....

under hazy Cairo sky
new moon begging for its birth
racing pulse of this chaotic city
carries me on its wing
inviting the dance of space
opportunity and restriction
possibility and denial
rising tensions flow with the Nile
dance of life and dance of death
hold hands, lock gaze
the privilege of the few
raise voices for the many
yet the echos of their song enveloped in cacophony
what are the notes?
hold on, dear Gaza
under the filmy light
on the skin
of the new moon
another song
another dance

I wrote this one after returning from Cairo. I went with the Gaza Freedom March and together with 1300 peace activists from around the world we hoped to go to Gaza to stand in solidarity with our brothers and sisters there. Ultimately, we hope to break the siege. The Egyptian government prevented us from leaving Cairo. This is my response.....

these walls you build
the violent rupture of a soul
as post holes invade her
deep into her flesh
sometimes where no one can see
masochistic bludgeoning of a weakened nail
the pounding makes you strong
justifies your blackened heart
as you try to take what you can never take
you steal the essence that cannot be captured
in an Egyptian bottle
you
cling to falsifications and calsifications of the mind
you bleed in the streets
and allow your wounds
to fester
bloody pus oozing from your pours
victimization not salvation
starvation of the collective spirit
so you steal someone else's
pulverized like the very olive
lovingly harvested into the hands of the
life givers
this is not the poem i meant to write
yet this is what
you forced me to say

there is something trying
to be birthed from me
familiar, exquisite pain
last night i dreamt
i gave birth to a placenta
from my mouth
i woke
in bloody suffocation
lips numb
trembling
remembering
as sensation invaded my mind
the taste of iron coating my teeth
yet where is my baby
where is she
who did i give birth to
what did i give birth to
shadows replace any vestige
of what could be real
intangible crowning of maginficence
invisible to me
silent dawn
why do you hide from me
what do you want from me
gone in an instant
yet the knowing taste
of life and death
remains

so quick the return to old patterns
i reach for you
to sink into the warmth
of your pores
your breath
guiding me gently
back to dreamland
back home
stirrings in my bones
as the serpent longs
to unleash
for now content with
sweet memories
of loving joy
i will gather you into my mind
third eye looking out across
heavy spring clouds
and follow the sound of
my soul

by the way, don't be afraid of the rain....it's only an invitation to dance!

this poem is called, "in memory of the nine brave, corageous peace activists whose lives were stolen by murderous war criminals who spin lies, black out independent media, violate international law repeatedly! repeatedly! yes, this is for them...in memory of the nine brave, courageous peace activists who were murdered by Israeli soldiers, in the name of TRUTH"

as long as the israeli lunatics

float down to deck

guns blazing like a bad scene in a low budget spaghetti western

or a disney kids' movie

as long as conventions and international laws

mean no more than the toilet paper i use every morning

for as long as democracy rhymes with hypocricy

and for as long as i wonder as i tuck in my children,

'how many babies are crying for their mama's arms tonight'

and how many momas are crying for their babies

for as long as it takes for the tears to stop

for as long as it takes

with my palestinian sisters and brothers

i will dance

i will write

i will laugh

and i will love

with my palestinian brothers and sisters

i will stand

i will walk

i will march

i will speak truth

and i will sail

i will do this every day

until the collective consciousness of humanity

until this truth

is heard

if not me, then who
if not us, then who

this one is different she said
as she gazed into the luminescent globe hovering above
this one is not the same
how, asked the little girl, painted to her side
it looks the same to me?
you're only looking with your eyes, the older girl said
you have to look with your heart too. she smiled as
as she place her hand gently on the little girl's head
running her fingers through her whispy soft hair
close your eyes and breathe as deeply as you can..good, do
it again. one more time. now imagine the happiest moment in your life
try to recall every detail...what did you see, what did you feel
what did you smell...do you have it? good. now open your eyes and tell me what you see
the little girl opened her eyes and in that instant her heart began to beat as if it might burst from
its home
her hands tingled as her mind struggled to figure it all out
the aura surrounding the brilliant light of the moon enveloped her senses
blue haze, atop reds and yellows...golden glow
she pushed herself closer to the older girl until their bodies touched everywhere
and drew in a breath
it's beauuutiful, she said
it's you, she whispered quietly...it's you

tiptoe lightly
through scattered pathways
in my dreams
wild lightening carves our way
winding into ancient memories
drown me in the river
whose rhythm is my soul
mingle my blood with empathy
that is the knowing in my bones
the memory of the unknown
reality of unreal
that i am you

the virgin blog

hello everyone...
welcome to wendy's world. this is a little space i've carved for myself and for anyone else who dares to dwell, or even visit, for me to express the vomit of my soul.

i know that sounds gross but one of my deepest desires in life right now is to seek truth. and to call my poetry vomit is truth. i don't mean that it's gross (although some of it might be). i mean that it rumbles in the depths of my being, churning and forming in a tumultuous struggle...sometimes a dance, secreting bile in unctious waves until it is catapulted forth through the vessel and into the stars.

i'm often left with a foul taste in my mouth but at the same time a deep satisfaction and sense of calm. kind of like vomit.

i've been writing for a long time, but hardly ever for the public. so as i venture into the unknown with you, it's difficult to know where to start. for me, there really are no beginnings or endings, so perhaps the best place to start is the middle. and so we begin. thanks for coming with me.

I wish i could be with you as you enter into this full moon

but perhaps you must go alone

there has been a totem visiting me for the past many days

engaging me in my dreamland

playing at the periphery of my awareness

dancing lightly yet spinning her tale

with force masked only by

the delicate grace

of ancient reptilian wisdom

and an unmistakable connection to you

in these stories

woven through the morning sky

shadowing the moon lit night

it's the lizard who bears

the burden of this initiation of fire

whose smoke spirals and twists in sister wind

whose spirit connects us with the vibrations

of mother earth

passion and spirituality

sexuality and transition

called forth by the lunar power

initiation into the underworld

connected to the mystery of

your birth

she is beckoning me

an offering to explore

sacred connection

to healing and transformation

confrontation of fear

and awakening our greatest gifts

in this trial of strength and balance

she invites us to discover what our relationships with others

teach us about ourselves

these cold blooded creatures whose warmth

reflects their physical realm

igniting creative fires within

giving new birth and expression wherever

we find

our

selves

this lizard

who sheds and eats her own skin

to begin again

this lizard

who follows me now

who

belongs to you

to me

to the moon

this lizard in my dreams