home
cicadas and 
red wine
mind full of memories, ideas and thoughts
heart full of love, questions and dreams
soul full of desire, envy and determination
home
home for weary feet and tired eyes
home for transitions and shortcuts
and longcuts 
and anything in between
home
home

my mom pulls me up the gravel drive
in a wounded red wagon
its wheels churning slowly
under a hot sun

dinner is burning
i can smell the rank odor
and i get nervous

a burning dinner is never a good thing
see, for me, it usually means death

it means another nanny or papa or
tante or uncle
habibti, daughter or son
has been killed

it means my psyche
still fresh with wound
takes another blow

it means that only time
can measure my restraint

it means that i lay down at your feet
and let you walk all over me
if you will

and it means i rise again

on my way to the fine east coast
music, dancing, ocean and feasts
laughter and love, family and treats
healthy children by my side
strong, educated, funny and cute
not oblivious but sheltered
from the horrors of the world
we will swim at the beach
swim as far as we dare
no bombs will land on this beach
no snipers will shoot if we swim too far
no child will see his best friend blown to bits
as he stands there, helpless
bloody in the night
no mother will wail in the night
as the sirens drown out her sorrow

when we come home
our house will be neat and orderly
not a pile of rubble where kids have to play
our schools will be cleaned by unionized custodians
waiting for the happy screams of schoolchildren
not temples to the innocents
our families will be in front of the tv
watching the bombs drop
'such a shame', one will say
'it's complicated', says another
and then they'll click the channel
click
click
click
and the sun will rise on the children of Gaza
again

you can sink a ship
you can drown my baby
you can poke my boy's eyes out 
with a wooden stick
but you can never
NEVER
wound the heart of a wounded soul
you can never 
NEVER come close to me
with your guns, and bombs, and gas
even when they tear my family to pieces
I am a woman who stands tall 
although I feel small
I am a woman who holds hands with my sisters
I am a woman who will look you in the eye
and point your silly gun away from me
I am a woman who will demand that you ask your mother
if what you think is true
I am a woman who will stand between you 
and my child
I am a woman who will forgive you when you put your weapons down
as we bow our heads together
I am a woman who will build a fire, tend to it
and cook dinner for us all
I am a woman who will dance until joy sings
I am a woman who will demand the end of insanity
and the beginning of truth
i am a woman
whose tears
nourish the earth

the dancer

she longed for the song

the one that filled her soul

with the melody of bluebirds

she floated

on the dream

that he would play it soon

she whispered in his ear

so close, so soft

so demanding

he promised

and promised again

she smiled

picked up her skirt

pulled back her shoulders

raised her head

and danced in silence

For Dave,

IF YOU WANT

if you want to fly through space with no wheels and no handles
then you do that
if you want to dig holes and stare at tiny bugs for hours and hours
then you do that
if you want to collect rare books and count them every day, making sure everyone is comfortable and accounted for
you do that
if you think that your stuffed animals are real and you like to talk to them
you do that
if you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain
you do that
if you like big comfy tighty-whiteys, lacy sweet and sexy, thongs that ride up your ass, that you can feel every time you move,
 or commando
you do that
if you get straddled or don't while getting your hair cut
you do that
if you fall deeply in love, over and over
every day
you do that
if you find a friend you want to have in your life forever
you do that
if you want nothing more than to express your desire for that person
you do that
if you want truth and honesty and openness
you do that
if you want pure love
you do that

Mother's Day, May 2014

today my mama bloomed 
with magnificent grace
fulll of rich splendour
fragrance
and place
today my mama bloomed
in a wild flurry of beauty
soaring into the sun
buried deep in the soil
returning to life