she takes her clothes off
and he leaves the room
not a good start to the night
but maybe the beginning of the book
she always meant to write

always on the outside

of you

finally found some words

to describe the turmoil

in my heart

always on the outside 

of you

you let me get close

but not so close

that i could see the wound

even though my fingers poked at it

even though you scream for it

i'm sorry

we didn't go all the way

with our love

i'm sorry

we didn't leap into the fire

i want to bathe

in an ocean of truth

with you

i want to breathe

into all that is becoming

with you

with me

i want to step off

this massive cliff

with you

.......

in this insanity
when my city dissolves savings
held for the poor, homeless and disabled

to fuel the ego of a pompous, macho
blowhard of a mayor
and instead spends millions to fund
elitist figure skating
and a fancy 3 second light show

in this insanity
when
my local tv news
sells me propaganda and lies
about tasers and cops
while ignoring the real story

in this insanity
when
i am warned by my friends
'be careful what you say'

in this insanity
i stand with clarity
and truth
without fear
and say
NO

what if you saw me drowning
what if you saw my arms flail
as my eyes began to bug out of my face

what if my house was on fire
what if you saw the flesh on my body
sizzle as i screamed

what if i came to your door
bloody, sobbing
and confused

what would you do for me?
what will we do for each other?

it's been a while i know
feeling blocked like an old lady
downing metamucil by the case
except i'm not an old lady
and the block is in my heart
not my ass

but i'll be back soon
i promise

oh glorious moon
full and strong
let me steal a drop of wisdom
dress me in your glory
chain me to the mountaintop
until your message
penetrates
me
show me
show me
your reflection
already reflected
in perfection in my
longing eyes
i bask in beauty of this life 

blast me out of this place
skirt blowing against the wind
face forward
not knowing
make it so and dance with me along the way