rollin like the thunder

in and out of time

picking up pieces

looking for a sign

and dancing 

always dancing

in the rain

 red sun

eerily penetrating 

earth's toxic waste

with its warning

 hundreds and hundreds of cars

families and children

waving at one another

smiles, laughter, fierce determination

sorrow, anger

community

love

connection

spirit

hope

prayers

resolve

resolve

resolve

a stand like no other

together we are strong

we are the ones we have been waiting for

divine feminine rising

 the profundity

of fucked-up-ness

far exceeds my capacity to cope

i fear not the reaper

but the withering

away

of hope

 I did a little local shopping downtown and in OEV yesterday. I am not buying much this holiday season, but what I do buy, I want to reflect the support I am giving to my community....my friends, my family, my neighbours, strangers, who are all struggling through this pandemic amidst ridiculous behaviour by an insane and growing fringe who are buying into a right wing oppressive narrative designed to keep the neoliberal wheels of a decrepit and crumbling capitalist system turning. All the while, we can see everywhere, all around us, on every corner, in every family, in every desperate, socially distanced outdoor event, the craving, the desire for connection, for love, for compassion, that is being denied to us by those who would rather continue to hoard and line their coffers while humanity weeps, while the animals weep, while mother earth weeps. Why the man I spoke with yesterday, lying almost frozen on our sidewalks, barely able to speak begged me to leave him, to not call anyone, to not be 'taken away'.....he would rather freeze to death in his misery than to get lost in the systems that put him there in the first place. Today I weep. I weep for us all. And take blankets to those who need them.

 one day i will plot my life on a spreadsheet

and it will rock any fucking graph you've ever seen.

 i don't know what i want

i guess that's the problem

although that's not true

i can give you a list

of what i want

yet my heart is unsettled

and i don't know why

i am restless when i'd prefer not to be

itchy in my own skin as always

i crave something without a name

or even a face.....i struggle so hard to see it

exactly what i saw in ayahuasca

pleasant at first and then...

feeling grounded is so precious to me....

that's why i never wear shoes

it helps so much 

when people ask why, i say because.

growing into one's wisdom is a

heavy load

sowing the seeds is backbreaking

and tremendously rewarding

into the earth we are born