ice lit trees for miles

houses with no borders, no fences, no boundaries

corner stores where everyone knows your name

empty roads that stretch for miles

deer munching on the front lawn

then dancing away

dogs off leashes

quiet time to read

skies that stretch your imagination

rivers that flow tidal bores

music jam in the back 40

laughter

people who grew up 'ya just around the corner, there, that one down there'

like a scene out of fargo

icicles so beautiful and so deadly they could probably kill you

wood piled high at everyone's door

a deep calm and warm presence

and a family trapped in the 50's to make it all the more perfect

tranquility, grace

and love

calamity 

when worlds collide 

and borders fall

when boundaries shift

and love conquers all

when eyes give new meaning

to seeing

when hearts 

beat to the tune

of the universe

when freedom means truth

then i will be free

skidding through life
passenger on a crowded bus
entering every day we jump in the abyss
or do  we play by the rules
fine line between jumping and dancing
on the edge of madness

we kiss my body full of desire you pull me in to you your heat envelops me i can't breathe i don't want to breathe you take me and i am home

i can't look at the sky

without thinking of you

i can't take my first breath

of the morning 

without the soothing 

inhalation of you

i can't wrap my mind

around my day

without wondering what you're doing

you have given life to an embattled soul

you have helped me find truth

you have given me love that i never could have imagined

you have given me myself

i will love and thank you forever

sometimes when we kiss
your exhale
becomes my inhale
and the universe
takes over

you know when you're in a mosh pit
and you fall down
and you think, holy fuck
there's nothing but boots around my face
and you think to yourself
i have to get myself up
and then
instead of you getting yourself up
there are four hands pulling you up
strangers hands....
well imagine if the world was like that

a thousand years ago

you touched my cheek 

and i was yours..

forever

a thousand years ago

as we danced in a field of wildflowers

and we bathed in the fullness of the moon

as you kissed my lips

and stole my breath

a thousand years ago

magically cloaked in the warmth of your love

my soul became one with the universe

a thousand years ago, steeped in the mystery 

of the ancestors

divine feminine and masculine

i found the ecstasy of eternity

in your eyes

a thousand years ago

a thousand years ago

a thousand years ago

for as many times as i've hated you
i've loved you twice as much
cobwebs are getting a clean spring sweep
and i see the truth written in the clouds

my grandma dies of alzheimers
i wonder about her choice
and i'm starting to see the value
just before she died she had changed everything about her life
the way she liked her coffee, the way she liked to dress
she said 'fuck the world', i'm doing it my way now
we blame it on a failed brain
but what is failed about making choices
about how we choose to live our lives
every time i kissed her goodbye i told her,
i love you grandma
and she looked me in the eye
and said
i love you too
matriarchal lineage runs deep

the foreplay has left the building
game on
out of the gate
i smile and enjoy the bliss

the corporatization of motherhood
stop feeding at 15 ml then burp
only change diaper when line tells you to
ignore instinct
maternal knowing
shun ancient wisdom
put babies in plastic containers
tell new parents what to do
how to do it and when
don't trust knowing
be suspect of every move
watch every move
report every move
discredit human emotion
steal babies if there isn't immediate conformity
stick them in an envelope and
return to sender

let me kiss you while you sleep
dear warrior god
let me kiss you while you sleep
when nobody else is looking
let me kiss you while you sleep
when the worry leaves your face
let me kiss you while you sleep
when you curl up by my side
and peace comes over us

the bridge

as i look out over it's edge

leaning into the mystic sloping hills

meeting place of majestic elements

memories collide with anticipation

ancestral voices fill me with 

with

with what?

i stare with wonder

i look deep into the clouds

and again at my feet

so firmly planted

i know love

i see love 

i am love

this bridge is not new 

yet each time i venture

on it's rickety old boards

creaking and filled with stories 

of many footsteps

the feelings return

becoming my friends 

on this journey

i see our patterns in the stars

i hold them close to my heart

and from this bridge

this perilous bridge

i jump

3 am and sleep evades
wrapped in your loving embrace
breathe in the familiar scent of your love
bury my face in your warmth
comfort, for a moment
breathe out my disgust with humanity
with rules and lies and control
insecurity is the key to freedom
paperwork, the last attempt to control
 a dying shithole of putrid filth
it smothers me
and then i find you again
and i breathe
and i know
love
and nothing else matters

you know when you’re in a mosh pit
and you fall down
and you think, holy fuck
there’s nothing but boots around my face
and you think to yourself
i have to get myself up
and then
instead of you getting yourself up
there are four hands pulling you up
strangers hands….
well imagine if the world was like that

next to the elephant
it's the squirrel
my second favourite animal
i want to lead the world
AND have fun

i want to kiss you

is all you said

then the avalanche

i celebrate you in so many ways

i thank you in so many more

wish you such joy

and i remember

the rain beats gently
against my heart
reminding me of the sacred rythym
i recognize in my bones
familiar dance
resurrected in love

i am spirit
and joy

i am truth
and i am freedom

like the song of a chickadee
at my window
on a cool spring morning
i speak to you
in secret code
as my heart lifts me
further and further
into your soul

no words can carry this
glorious weight
upon my breast

no music
can ever tell the story
but we will try
and we will try
and the magic of the universe
will carry us home

why you keep choosing women
who have never had babies
is beyond me
the sacred journey
of a woman
is carried in her womb
when you give birth
you know exactly what to do

i get it now

when it happened 

i felt abandoned

completley left alone

in an insane world

but now that i know it

now that i know love

i understand

and i forgive you

you go back to the land
whatever in this life
you go back to the land

how do you choose to go?
the decision right now

what form will you take
next time

I have been struggling to find the words, and then the words suddenly found me. I have been living and eating and dreaming this revolution since I was a little girl, growing up in a big house with a nice pool in suburbia. I had a big bedroom with warm blankets that my grandma quilted. I had 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 parents and a little brother who loved me even though I beat on him occasionally. I narrowly avoided Ritalin, discovered alternate interventions, and managed to achieve so-called success as a social worker. The Canadian Dream. 
I have been a front line social worker for almost 30 years. I can tell you stories, but I won’t because they’re confidential, but what I will tell you is that I have seen suffering. I am disgusted and ashamed to say that much of the suffering I have seen has been at the hands of our Canadian Government. Blatant lies, disregard for humanity, cruelty, abuse. These are charges I wage against our Government. Not just this Fascist regime…the ones before it as well. 
I believe we are at a turning point in our history…when all of us…..when all women in particular…must rise and say NO. Our mother earth is demanding this of us. We can do this by creating community, spreading our love, and standing tall in our truth. We deserve it. Our children deserve it.

i remember the very moment
it was over
you were loving her so madly
you didn't care about us
anymore

the blessing is next to the wound
you say
you pretend to write

long hours spent in quiet contemplation
i am your muse no more

what's going on out there?
is it the tsunami i have been waiting for?
or is it just the mailman, delivering a letter...
seems that we are on the edge
and someone needs to give a big, hard
push

and she collapses into herself
this is not the first time
she sighs
she picks herself up
and she writes a new story

darkened garden of moons
wilderness of winding vines
choke out the light today

a wild storm
awaits the rest 
shadow and doubt
swirl
in relentless wind 

raging thunder
and pounding
rains
against the panes
of our memories

reality molded
re-told
again
and
again
re-membered
re-written

alas,
your troubled heart
finally
in
stillness

so
much
pain
feels like i've been shot
but worse
the shit that rolls forth
from here on in
i can't be held responsible for
yet it's rolling
like a tidal wave.......
so i open the gate
and ask the universe to take me

i don't want you to go away
not when i've just found you again

fuck

gin and toothpaste....
ew

Idle No More
I have been searching for words
as my heart fills with deep truth
and emotion
i have witnessed profound community
authentic spirituality
and love
to those who criticize
i will not lend an ear
until they bare witness
to this great unfolding of the universe

i am lost in the middle of everything
or maybe i am stuck in the middle of everything
or was it that i was lost in the middle of everything
and then i got stuck
well, whichever, 
i'm breathing now 
not stuck or lost
and i'm told that's a good thing
the breathing part
this is going to be the ride that I choose
beware
idle no more

this disquiet
this unrest
this feeling of bile
in the back of my throat
this sorrow
this anger
handcuffed pain
and tortured mind
longing for freedom
unwilling to stop
until it is done

this one is for bones

where is here, he asked
where is here

here is the apex of the universe
the space we created for truth
the only possible place

the depth of the soul sometimes
emerges from the strangest places

where is here, he asked
here is the tomorrow we are imagining together
here is the chance for something better
here is now and now is here
here is watching storage wars and feeling deep love
all at the same time
here is eating together, sharing and helping
here is sliding down the hill
fast as fuck

don't judge the pustules
watch me as i walk the earth