these are turbulent times
make no mistake
life chose us to be alive now
now
and we just have to find a way
together
together
together

sometimes
when the rain comes
it feels like 
a tsunami crashing in
waves churning at the heart of 
my soul
other times
i laugh
take my clothes off
and dance

i'd rather die in the fire
than smoulder at the edge
of destruction
drown in a lake of desire
place my head on the block
rip out my heart and
let you hold it in your hands
let you do with it what you will

i'd rather dance at the very edge
till i'm drunk with uncertainty
i'd rather stand in my nakedness before
myself
raw and unclean
imperfect and painfully
human

before i settle for anything
but my

truth

if i was a stone 
i would sit
and wait
and nothing 
would be bad
or good
and life would go on

if i was a conscious human
i would see the stone
i might touch it, admire it
and then i would do whatever
my heart told me
to evolve humanity.

♥

the name of this poem is the blessing is next to the wound
it's something a dear friend told me
he didn't make it up, it's an african proverb
but he's the one who taught me about wounds
and blessings

it's in the wound
the deep, ugly, festering gash
oozing blood and pus
aching, itching, never healing
longing to heal
aching some more

where we must rise
when we just can't take it anymore
we hear ourselves sing

i swim for my life
some days
doggy paddle to shore
coughing, gasping
shake it off
and dive in again
chasing the birds
across the lake
as if i'm ever going to catch that fucking bird

but i keep trying

i pretend i don't know anything
but really i know everything i need to know
i saw it in victoria park
when we occupied love
when my heart opened to
possibility

put that on a fucking powerpoint
spreadsheet
agenda
policy document

my soul dances when i hear 'we'
when 'we' occupy
the whisper 'we' have seen
when 'we' imagine what is possible
when we seduce our desires

on this night of darkness
let's all open our hearts to the light
to the blessing next to this terrible wound

because in my woundedness
in my suffering
i felt the pain of the earth
i inhaled the sorrow of humanity
i made love to grief
i held dirt
where flowers grow
i felt the seeds

and put them back
i get it now
bury roots and learn to soar

ohhhh solstice

solstice is upon us
ready your souls
open your hearts
cleanse your minds
occupy the depth of reality
that you only caught 
a glimpse of
yesterday

don't be afraid
to pick the wildflower
that grows
in a crevice
between two rocks
that spot has been barren before
it will grow
glorious life
again

they are militarizing our democracy

and we are lining up like sheep
to let them do it

let your eyes guide you
home
to your heart

and then you will know what to do

i am the dreamer

and i have the answer
the glorious, magical answer

and i will tell you the answer
when you are ready to hear it

get your
self

ready

high
on condor's wing
atop a wistful crescent moon
cascading stars shoot across the milky way
soaring beyond tomorrow drops of yesterday
complete the mystic sky
in moments of desire
 in solitude contradictions in deep longings
 longing to soar
longing to heal
to be seen
to be loved
to be set free
 beginnings and endings
the gift of the great bird
commander, creator destroyer
messenger to the gods
carry our prayers
teach us the ancient mysteries of life and death
and then come home
 to rest

i have been waiting to die and i think tonight i sucked my final breath clinging hopelessly to the bumper as the truck speeds away is not an option too slow and painful instead i take myself i take myself to the moon to the stars and i ask, quietly please what will you have me do