i am pushed forward
by the surge
like alice
not lost in the waves
like cinderella

connected to the impulse
of creativity
desire
imagination

passion
willing it to ride me
into eternity
again
and again

urgency to devour
my soul

desperation to drink
my tears

hope to lick my
wounds clean

tears to wash
the blood

dreams to capture
the urgency of my soul

my son tells me he sees visions...
he thinks or dreams things and then they happen
he is aware of the magnitude of his being
i say to my daughter, look at that cloud
she says, it just changed...
did we change it,
or did it change us?
beautiful question
ask me another one

when the night closes in
flesh surrendering
to dreamscape
of darkness unknown
when letting go happens
without resistance
when ego loses its
clammy grip
when the love train
pulls into the station
and the goblins
push to the front of the line
and each meets the other
with no plan
i meet myself there
and laugh
and cry

eyes closing
revelations
keep cracking it open
keep pushing
me
off
the
edge

if there was certainty
there would never be truth
if there was certainty
the great thunder of the universe
would not have the power
to crack us open
if there was certainty
we could not love
from that place of reckless abandon
if there was certainty
i would not be your friend
and we would not be dancing in the rain

blessed unrest
gathering pieces of soul
stolen, ripped away
by ordeals of the heart

we dance through darkness
sweep the corners clean
in every step
lighting the path
home

i feel the distance
between the silences
i am lost on the sea of wakefulness
that plays like so many records we spun

my lips keep kissing themselves
as if they could bring you back
god, they try

my body aches with the thought
that she might pleasure you
more than i

banish this sad state
i want to scream
i do scream
and yet it seeps
and breathes into every pore

i walk the path and stop
for every waking bloom
eager
so eager
to find the one who
calls me home

the aftermath

invoking the divine feminine
wild form and shape
calling in the ancestors
stirring the cauldron
plucking the eyeballs
of every goatfucker
for the stew
only the goddess
can save us now